Tampons
by katie.eats.kids
Summary: When James finds a package that Katie received of female hygiene products from her mother by owl, hell ensues. One-shot, no romance.


**I don't own any of the Marauders, nor Hogwarts castle, nor the Tampax brand. I just own Katie and what I wrote. Enjoy :D**

"Katie, I have a question for you." James looked up from the small box he was holding with a confused expression on his face.

"Go for it, what's up?" I asked, putting my school bag down and sitting on the couch next to him, relaxing after a long school day.

"What are 'Tampax'?" he asked, holding the small cardboard box up for me to see.

I turned a bright red color. "Dear God…James, give me that." I reached over to him to get my box of pads and hide them up in the girl's dormitory for the male eye to never see again, but he withheld them from my grasp.

"Not until you tell me what the bloody hell they are," James said defensively, cradling the box in his arms. "Should I ask Padfoot? Maybe he'll know…" he stood from the cushioned armchair and started toward the boy's dormitory.

"NO, DON'T!" I shrieked, running after him. Seeing a chase being ensued, James increased his pace up the stairs, jumping two at a time.

"HEY, PADDY!" James yelled, wrenching open the door to the dorm.

Nobody was the room. Just as I was about to sigh with relief, Remus popped his head out of the bathroom. "What happened?" he asked innocently, toweling his wet hair.

"Nothing, Moony," I said quickly, attempting to tackle James. He ran across the room to Remus and showed him the box.

"Do you know what this is, Moony? Is it a muggle thing?" he asked excitedly. "Katie isn't telling me."

Remus turned the same shade that I was. "Well…Erm…" he avoided meeting my eyes and coughed.

"Yes, it's a muggle thing, now leave it at that," I snapped, trying again to get the box of tampons. James, now seeing it as a game, ran back across the room and shut it.

When I tried pulling on the door, it refused to open. "JAMES, OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR RIGHT NOW!" I screamed, pulling out my wand. "_Alohamora!"_

Nothing happened. I sunk to the floor and covered my eyes from Remus. I thought that the most embarrassing moment in my life was when I peed myself at a birthday party when I was eight, but this topped it. At least I had an excuse (I mean, I was eight!) back then.

"Try summoning them?" Remus asked, breaking the icy silence in the room.

"_Accio tampon box,"_ I said hopelessly. Nothing happened.

"I'm sorry, Katie," Remus said with a small chuckle. I looked up.

"You think this is _funny_?" I growled.

"Well…yeah, a bit. I mean, look at the situation – I'm trying not to make it sound mean, but –"

Before he could finish his sentence, a yell came from the common room and the window shattered behind him. I screamed in surprise, and he ducked as an object sped past him and landed dutifully in front of me.

"Oh no," I whispered, staring at the empty and horribly damaged Tampax box with horror.

"_Reparo_." Remus fixed the shattered window and looked toward me. "Well, I guess your Summoning Charm worked…"

"Shut it, I hear them," I said, putting my ear to the door.

"James, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Sirius' voice trailed up the stairs.

"I'm trying on Tampax," he said. "Muggles use them to fix nosebleeds. I didn't think Vixen would need such a big box of them though, these must last her years…"

"Jamesy, leave them alone," Sirius barked laughter, "and give them the hell to her before she finds you."

"She's in the boy's dorm with Moony, I locked them in there," James said, "she insisted on keeping these funny little things away from me, but they're so fun!"

Sirius' laughter grew closer, along with his footsteps. I moved away from the door just as he opened it.

"Shut it," I told him, my face returning to its deep red color. "Shut it before I shut it for you." With that, I ran down the stairs to the common room.

James was sitting in the middle of the floor with two tampons shoved up his nose. "Hi Vixen," he said sweetly.

"Give me the tampons," I growled, "or I'll give you a nosebleed to fix."

"Yes ma'am," he said, throwing the individually plastic-encased tampons at me. "Do you have chronic nosebleeds or something?"

Without replying, I marched up to the girl's dormitory and put them in my trunk, along with the torn and beaten Tampax box. "Never again," I muttered under my breath, "am I asking my mother to send me a package of tampons by owl."


End file.
